Buzzed

I haven't drank in a while. Especially not by myself. It is kind of fun. I forgot that this is how I blow off steam. I have been so stressed lately, end of the quarter and all. I have to turn in grades on Friday. At which point spring break kicks in. The students (high school) that I teach are all excited about spring break. "I can't wait for spring break!" they say, as if they expect sympathy. My reply is, invariably, "you have NO idea". Rest assured that your teachers do not have an easy job. Caring about people is always rough. Especially when all you want to do is see them succeed and all they want to do is resist you at every turn. I feel like I have been fighting a battle this week and I am war weary. When I offer my lunches and after school time all week to stay and help people make up their grade and they ask, "how long do we have to stay?". Even to get them to stop by, I have to fight so hard. I could let them all fail and wallow in their laziness, but that is not in my nature. I was hired to do a job and I will do it. Even if it means sacrificing my time and energy (and occasionally my sanity). It kills me when a student has the personality to succeed and they just refuse. I am constantly trying to creatively come up with ways to teach and increase buy in. They cannot see beyond high school. I don't want them to suffer because of their own shortsightedness. My job is not entirely thankless, but it definitely takes everything that I have.

Super Happy

I love everyone. I am so excited about my life right now. I feel this way often in the morning when I first take the chemical deluge that comprises my morning routine. Adrenaline and serotonin with a small side of caffeine. Gosh I am getting a lot done. I am just awaiting the day when my heart explodes. It is all prescription, except for the caffeine.
I love my iPhone. It is my favorite toy and I think that I will never get another phone. Now I just have to sell my old one of eBay.
I am going to ride these feeling of contentment as long as I can.

Welcome

This is a blog for the times when I am feeling not myself. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Some of it will be dreams and some of it will be drunken confessions. There's no earthly way of knowing...